Neuroplasticity and Gratitude

I was never much of a fan of talk about the biological bases of behavior.  Already in the mid 80’s, there were innovative graduate programs popping up to explore brain-based treatments more nuanced than conventional treatments like ECT, Labotomy and psychotropic medication. Nonetheless, I remained decidedly a proponent of the nurture side of things.  This bias came in large part from working with kids in schools and seeing the folly, and really… Read More

EX:Change on Easter Hiatus in the UK

Alongside what changes is what endures.  Each is finally contained in the other.  Many times, what remains most reliable does so because of its capacity to change. Here I am, visiting the UK because of one of those enduring things — family — more specifically, my beloved expat daughter. Today is Easter.  That means many on the islands are following the tradition of gathering with families over meals  —  elaborate and larger… Read More

“In casual conversation, how long does it take before someone starts complaining?”

I had Thanksgiving Dinner at the home of a Nigerian-American family.  My brother, Preston(since the dawn of our friendship we’ve been pretty sure we are twins separated at birth) and his wife, Michelle and their 5-year-old daughter, Rachel had invited me along on their Thanksgiving plans.  Preston, the host couple and three more guests share the fact of long ancestries, birth, childhood and young adulthood in Nigeria.  Although they did not meet… Read More

Onward

Several years ago I became aware of a newly formed nonprofit organization called Onward Oregon http://onwardoregon.org/. Shortly after learning of the organization, I received an e-mail inviting me to be on their mailing list. In that introductory email, following the words “What We Believe” came this: “We inherit the good that flowed from the people who came before us and the societies they created and will continue building on that foundation. The… Read More

Office of Blame Accountability

Love is encouragement. Kindness is not weakness. Freedom is scary because, if I am truly free, I can’t blame anyone.  These three statements came as small gifts over coffee and tea this morning with my friend Jim.  You may recognize him from earlier blogs.  Sayings like these are as natural, even essential to Jim as heartbeats. This morning we were talking about being people in relationships – love partnerships, friendships, kinships, acquaintanceships… Read More

Gratitude and Coherence

“Often I can hardly hear what another says because of the internal noise that goes on in the judging of them.” David Brandon Zen and the art of helping. I’m reading about rhetoric – about the way words are used both to make sense of and to form our realities.  I could be reading a novel or watching a movie.  It is after all, the Thanksgiving holiday.  Still, I’m captivated by the… Read More