Whether an economic concoction or general energetic weirdness – or both – or neither – life has a way of throwing curve balls that, at their most random and intense, can knock any of us way off our game.

So what’s up? Some of the more esoteric among us are in remarkable agreement that might be summarized: The energy is super intense these past months, and really weird. My prescient mentor, Terry Gutkin described it a little differently in 2009 as one of the voices in 100 Voices: Americans Talk about Change. Leaning into his childhood in Brooklyn as the son of a laborer, Terry described growing up watching a dad who invested his precious little spare time along with loads of intelligence and collaboration, in helping to institutionalize Unions in the years following WWII. Here half a century or so later, Terry is not sure the Unions have delivered on the more intangible promise of time to be a thoughtful and engaged citizen. He describes the biggest problem to be the way the prevailing economic system keeps us all way too busy. “As long as we’re busy scampering for food and keeping a job and trying to be sure our kids are raised without being on drugs and blah, blah, blah, we don’t have time to pay attention.”

It’s been three and a half months since I’ve posted. Busy. Weird. And, I have a suspicion that most of you can look back on your own life over those 15 weeks and nod with a good measure of recognition. Some of you have continued blogging, working, loving, creating, but you’ve also been messing up, feeling exasperated, and maybe you’ve encountered what seem crazy, impossible, never-could-have-imagined-this circumstances yourself. Still, you like I have been going forward nonetheless. The evidence of that is simple – we’re here together in this moment, in these words and our thoughts.

I too often forget to notice that. That things must be going ok. I mean, since I’m here and all.

At the same time, I have too many friends, young and old, who are experiencing the exacting challenges of surprise and severe illness. Some have died. My circumstances are less dire and don’t need description here .. yet .. but it’s being a ride.

The lesson, when I can see it goes something like – It always has been. A ride, that is. And furthermore you’ve never been driving in any absolute way.

Then the curriculum (brutal at times, certainly ruthless) continues – Look around, right now – RIGHT NOW – and get that this is the only place you are in the only moment you have. Now, do your best. Or not. But do admit that right now is what’s going on – and LIVE IT.

I’m going to follow this entry with one my sister posted yesterday. You’ll see why. But I wanted to have something in digital to make the segue from going dark on blogging to this renewed murmur.

I do hope to be here more regularly again, but who can call it?

Meanwhile, I and each of you will continue to live it until our bodies drop. Then a bit longer in our words and deeds, and in the stories people remember of us.  By then, and as ever, in the inescapable present – but without any care of our own.

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3 Comments on “ONWARD

  1. Thanks, Mary Clare. ‘Be here now’… ‘Where ever you go, there you are’… Good stuff. Aging has its own ‘circumstances’, doesn’t it? You are right. It is what it is, right now. And I have been blogging, every 3 weeks, through whatever ‘it’ has been, for the past year. The reason? I am part of a 3 woman group writing the blog: Writing the Wild… I do it because I feel responsible to these other two incredible writer-women. But it is good for me. It adds to me ‘here-ness’, my ‘now’ness’.
    My best to you both.

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